Self-confidence

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Your inner critic

The way we think about ourselves has a big impact on how we feel about ourselves and what we do in our daily life and how we interact with others. Ever heard of the “inner critic”? This is that annoying, powerful and sometimes very hurtful voice in your head that tells you all the things you’re not good at, all the reasons why you can’t do something and all the things people might think of you. Everyone has an inner critic – some have louder ones than others. The inner critic needs to be tamed so that it doesn’t impact how we feel about ourselves and this will allow you to take the power back!

Tips to build your self confidence

Remember! People who feel good about themselves tend to feel more confident!

What’s cool about you? List things that are cool about you. It may feel really uncomfortable at first but give it a go!
Remember good things. Keep a list of compliments you get from other people or the nice things people do for you. If you don’t feel great about yourself, then you may not listen to the nice things others say about you, so keeping a list can help you notice these things more often.
Be a ‘Yes Man’. This means saying ‘yes’ when you’re invited to social occasions, even if your first instinct is to stay in your comfort zone at home on the couch and watch T.V. Even if you don’t think it will be fun at first, give it a go, stay open-minded. You’ll never know if you don’t try.
Do more of what you love. If you are stuck in the same old habits of not doing much, start getting back into the activities that you really like doing or try a new activity. This could be a mix between stuff you do on your own (like reading, drawing, writing, making or listening to music or cooking) and stuff you do with others, like being in a team, club or group at school.
Challenge your negative self-talk.
Set goals. For more click here
Keep a list of achievements. No matter whether they are big or small, write them down!
Do something nice for others.
Hang out with positive people. Be around others that make you feel good and avoid those who don’t.
Stay healthy. Have a healthy lifestyle, like eat healthily, get enough sleep, do some exercise every day, and stay clean (wash your clothes and shower).
Keep a gratitude diary. At the start or end of each day, spend a moment listing five things you feel really grateful for and why.

What if I still feel bad about myself all the time?

If we have had negative experiences we have had in our early life, like not feeling loved or cared for, or being told that we were stupid or not good enough, then we can start to believe it is the truth about us! It is important to challenge these negative messages and realise that it doesn’t matter what has happened in the past, you create your own future.

The first step to challenging these messages that you were given is to understand the impact they are having on the way you think, feel and behave. There’s something called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (or CBT) that does exactly this. There are heaps of counsellors out there who know about CBT who can teach you how it works! Check out our ‘Getting Help’ section here for more info on counselling.

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