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Friendships

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Dealing with friendship conflict

Drama between friends sucks big time. Some groups always seem to have some kinda drama happening, while other groups hardly ever fight and it’s a really huge thing when it does happen. For tips on how to deal with conflict, click here. For more info on bullying, click here. 

 Does this seem familiar? Here are some questions we’ve received from real live young people:  

 

Q: “The girls in my group were all fine with each other, but now 2 of them are fighting and I feel like I’m stuck in the middle. I just want us to all be friends again. Please help!”

A: It’s important you stay out of it as much as possible so that you aren’t in the middle. However, when friends say things like, “Why were you talking to her? I thought you were my friend”, staying out of it can be pretty tricky! You need to be really clear in your message to both of them, which is “I’m not getting involved because you are both my friends and I WILL NOT take sides”. If they try talk to you about what’s happening, if they ask you what the other one is saying about them or ask you to pass a message on, just calmly and clearly let them know: “This is between you two – I’m friends with both of you, so I’m not getting involved. If you want to get in contact with her, you’ll have to talk to her yourself, okay?” Whatever you do, don’t try to solve or fix their problems for them. You have to leave it up to them – otherwise you risk ending up right in the middle and dealing with even more drama!

 

Q: “There’s a girl in my group who is always a bit mean. She seems to always ignore me and pay more attention to the others in my group. When I try joining in, she snobs me.”

A: Sometimes people will act like this if they feel insecure in a group. They shoot others down as a way of feeling more powerful. One thing to talk to them away from the rest of the group. Once you have told them how it makes you feel when they ignore you and told them how you’d like things to be, then it’s important to stick up for yourself in the group. This means being assertive. For more info on how to be assertive, click here.

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Dealing with loneliness

lonely

 You might feel lonely after:

  • A break up
  • A fight with friends or family members
  • Moving house
  • Moving classes or even schools
  • Conflict and stress at home
  • Separation or divorce of your parents

You may feel lonely because you…

  • Find it hard to trust others
  • Fear of being rejected
  • Fear of being alone forever
  • Feeling bad about yourself
  • Blaming yourself for stuff that’s happened
  • Expecting too much from others
  • Mental health stuff like depression or anxiety

 You may react to loneliness by….

  • Being withdrawn and quiet
  • Crying
  • Sleeping too much
  • Eating too much
  • Getting drunk or taking drugs
  • Sitting around doing nothing

What might help…

  • Distracting yourself
  • Going for a walk or exercising
  • Getting out of the house
  • Being with family
  • Watching funny Youtube clips and movies
  • Enjoying on your hobbies and interests

  • Building your self-confidence – click here  for tips

  • Talking to a counsellor about how you feel – click here for different support options
  • Work on making new friends
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